may we stay lost on our way home
by Moonlit Daybreak
Summary: The baby Speedsters/F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M./Speedy team-up you never knew you wanted in which Martin Stein is theoretically in charge, but finds himself totally out of his depth.
1. Chapter 1

"This can be very, very simple," Martin said, which was the first indication that it wouldn't be. "The future Mr. Allen informed Mr. Hunter exactly how we can close this anomaly."

"The hole," Ray offered weakly, sounding terrified. The full team, minus Mick, who had given up and gone back to sleep fifteen minutes ago, were gathered in the kitchen.

"Yes, you could call it that, I suppose."

"In the universe?" Amaya questioned, looking around like someone was about to announce that this whole thing was an elaborate joke.

"No, not at all," Martin insisted, not for the first time that morning. He gestured to the whiteboard he had been drawing on for nearly half an hour in an effort to explain their mission.

Jax stood up, reaching out for the dry erase marker. "I think I've got it. Can I try?"

Martin reluctantly handed him the marker and Jax wiped off a section of the board with his sweater sleeve. He drew three horizontal lines parallel to one another.

"So this your timeline," he said gesturing to Nathan with one hand and pointing to the first line with the other. Nathan, still staring slack-jawed at some of the more incomprehensible doodles, didn't acknowledge him. "This timeline is history. The Civil War is before World War I which is before the internet and so on."

"This is the Legends timeline," he continued, gesturing to the second line, "It's what the Time Masters operate on. When we're racing against the clock before time settles, this is the clock we're racing against."

"I think we've all got that," Sara interrupted. "At least as much as we need to. It's when the other Earths come in that it gets confusing."

"So glare at me if I'm wrong, Gray, but all these other Earths run parallel to ours. If we went to another Earth for an hour, which is apparently something that can happen, when we came back an hour would have passed, because all the Earths are running on the same timeline. Is that right?"

"More or less," Stein allowed. "I'm assuming you don't want to know what in the quantum mechanics allows for that phenomenon?"

"God, no." Jax circled the second line. "This timeline, the Legends timeline, is self contained. So if we mess up big time again and make it so that the Nazis win, that only changes the history of our Earth, and not any others."

"And the third timeline?" Ray prompted.

Jax held out the marker to Stein. "Can you explain it as simply as I would?"

Stein grabbed the marker. "I'll have you know that I was an excellent professor for many years. It's not my fault the coffee hasn't kicked in yet."

"Coffee doesn't make the idea of other universes any easier to swallow," Amaya said, taking a swig out of her own mug. "Explain it again."

Stein contemplated the blank space for a moment and drew several circles. "If these are all other universes, picture where the timelines are in this space. Inside all of the circles is the same pace of the passage time, the first timeline. These are all the same. Within each space, there is a Legends timeline, each of which are different and none of which affect each other."

He glanced at his captive audience and a few of his teammates nodded, urging him on. He pointed to the third, unmarked parallel line. "Our third timeline is what we must repair. All of the Earths exist on another spatial plane. They are constantly shifting and bumping into one another. That shifting is happening on the third timeline. This timeline does not exist within any Earth, only the space outside the Earths, so do not attempt to contemplate what has gone awry- it is impossible. We have no way to get to that space."

"Okay," Sara interjected, standing up and gesturing for Martin to sit back down. "I think that's as much as we're going to be able to understand. What we need to agree on here is whether or not we want to take this risk. This isn't like any other mission we've taken on before."

"What exactly is the threat again?" Ray asked.

"And who's giving us this mission?" Nathan added.

"The Barry Allen- that's the Flash- from the year 2056 left a message for Rip that Jax and Stein found. We were only supposed to find out on a need-to-know basis. Rip's gone now, so we need to know."

"And we're sure it's Barry Allen?" Jax asked, still stuck on this point. "It sounds like him, yeah, but how can we be sure?"

Sara gestured to Martin. "Stein knows Barry better than any of us, and he seems pretty confident. Barry's passing this knowledge along from someone else. We don't know who. That person is part of an organization working to repair damage to the space between the multiverses and they need certain teams to be on certain Earths at certain times, all at the same point in the third timeline."

"And our role in this is?" Amaya prompted.

"A glorified taxi service. We scoop up a team from 2016, take them the 2056, and Barry will take them across dimensions to another Earth. The new team will initiate an eight month mission to prepare for their role in the larger-scale multiverse fixing. 2056 Barry will wait for eight months in his time and then run over shortly after the mission ends to take the team back to this dimension. We'll zip straight into the future and take the team back home to 2016."

There was a loaded pause.

"This seems low risk for us," Ray said. "What's the catch?"

"We're part of the team getting sent to another dimension," Jax said. "Gray and I. F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M. is part of the plan to fix the hole….thing."

"Unfortunately, the rest of you all will not be able to accompany us. Mr. Allen's mission calls exclusively for younger heroes," Professor Stein added.

"We think it's an undercover mission," Sara explained. "Probably in a college. Stein has to be there for F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M. but he can also pass as a professor-"

"Because I am a professor!" he interrupted.

"Yes, we know. Anyway, we're looking for other heroes who are Jax's age. Barry tipped us off on one- apparently his foster father has another son who's due to get speedster powers in November of 2016. I know two people from Star City who fit the bill, but I'm pretty sure we'll only be able recruit one. They're exes and they share a costume- it's kind of complicated, actually."

"If this is a mission for a couple of hours for us, and a mission for eight months for Jax and Stein, shouldn't they make this call?" Ray suggested.

"They've already agreed," Sara said. "I just want to make sure everyone's on the same page. I know it rings a couple of alarm bells, but I want to make sure no one's completely opposed to it."

"I don't like it, but I trust Barry," Ray admitted. "If you can get Oliver to agree- I'm assuming you're asking Thea first instead of trying to hunt down Roy- I'll feel even better about it."

Sara shook her head. "Thea doesn't need Oliver's permission for this. She quit the team after they took down Darhk."

The team lapsed into silence as they considered the information at hand. Jax rose to brew another round of coffee.

"I don't have a problem with it," Nathan offered, finally seeming to recover from his astonishment.

"I'm concerned, but not enough to object. The potential consequences of us not helping seem greater," Amaya added.

Sara clapped her hands. "Great. I'll go give the Sparknotes to Mick and see if he agrees, and if he does our next stop is Central City. We need to find Wally West."

* * *

When Thea got a text from Sara saying that she was back in town and wanted to meet with her, her first thought was of Quentin. It wasn't that she minded keeping an eye on him. God knew he needed someone, and Thea understood how she ended up bearing that responsibility. She owed the Lance family no small amount of loyalty. She and Quentin had never been on the best of terms back when she was a teenage delinquent, but he had backed her up plenty of times as a Team Arrow ally.

Her relationship with Sara was a little more complicated. They had never been particularly close, but she still considered Sara a friend, and had never found a way to fully apologize for killing her.

And Laurel? Thea would never in a million years admit it to her brother, but her first five months of being a superhero were the best times of her adult life. As a team, Spartan, Black Canary, and Speedy worked seamlessly. Dig, Laurel, and Thea were great as well. She had something to do every night, a steady source of income, and a roommate who loved Thai take-out just as much as she did. Yeah, she had missed Ollie, but he actually answered the phone when she called, which was more contact than she was used to when he ditched town. A lot of the credit for her joy during that time went to Dig and Lyla, but most of it went to Laurel.

So Thea wasn't mad that Sara went on her totally-fake-sounding-but-apparently-legitimate time travel mission and left Quentin behind. She was just worried that Sara would try to contact her father while she was in Star City, and she wasn't sure if that would make things better or worse for him.

Her second thought was more childish, and she immediately pushed it away. Sara had returned to Star City twice last May, once to check in with her family, not knowing Laurel was dead, and once two weeks later. Thea came home one night and found Sara at the kitchen table, staring at the notes on the fridge. "I'm going to kill him," she announced, without looking at Thea.

"We already did," Thea admitted. "Last week. But it went wrong. I'm not- I can't do this anymore. I set Speedy aside. I think it's what Laurel would have told me to do."

Sara nodded. "If it's what you want, it's what you should do. I want to kill him. In that past. I'm going to save her."

"Is that how- is that what you all do? Is that how it works?"

Sara stood to read one of the post-it notes reminding Thea to send their Netflix DVDs back. She traced Laurel's handwriting with her pinkie finger. "No. That's not how it works. I'm doing it anyway."

Thea turned around to set her purse on the couch, and when she looked back Sara was gone. Thea understood why Sara had told her and not anyone else, and she appreciated it. Thea considered Laurel her sister. Sara and Thea both wanted vengeance, not out of principal, but out of something more visceral and desperate that ran deeper in either of them than the burn of the Lazarus pit.

So when Sara texted her, her second thought was that Laurel would be with there, too. But she was twenty-one years old, not seventeen, and she knew that coming back to life wasn't that simple.

She knew that Sara knew it, too.

* * *

Here was the thing about being a superhero- Jesse loved it. Her uniform kicked ass. She hadn't officially clocked her time since returning to Earth-2 but she felt faster every time she ran. The metahuman situation in Central City was fairly manageable without Zoom running around murdering people and her father was surprisingly cool about helping her rig up new tech to take down her foe of the week.

There was not a single reason for her to return to Earth-1. No reason at all. She had her friends, she had her dad, she loved her job, and dammit, she was useful.

Except a month into her superhero career, one of Cisco's portals popped into existence in the middle of her living room. She dashed through, expecting a crisis, but only found Wally West standing in front of her, grinning ear to ear like they hadn't parted on awkward terms.

"I'm doing something stupid," he announced as she skidded across S.T.A.R. lab's concrete floor. "And risky. Do you want to do it with me?"

She whirled around to locate Cisco. His hand was still extended to keep the portal open, which she appreciated, but he managed a half-shrug. "It's not that stupid, or I wouldn't be helping."

"That's not very convincing," she replied, stepping away from the portal and pivoting so that Wally and Cisco were both within her line of vision. "You help Barry do stupid things all the time.

"This is different," Wally insisted. "Apparently Barry has some friends with a time machine. They need people for a mission and we're getting tapped."

She shook her head and opened her mouth to argue, thinking of Wally-dumbass-cute-grin-West throwing himself in front of a car, but he beat her to the punch.

"Okay, that's a lie. They just asked for me. They're saying that I did get powers when we were hit by the energy wave. But an extra person can't hurt and I figured, you know, if I'm going to be getting powers mid-mission it might be nice to have someone with me who knows what they're doing."

He was full of shit. He knew it, and she knew it, and he knew that she knew it, which is why his grin was getting impossibly wider the longer she stared at him.

"Your dad's letting you?" she asked.

"He's not thrilled, but he's not stopping me either. Professor Stein- he's a friend of the team, you probably heard about him while you were working with us- he'll be leading the mission. He swears it's safe, and that when we're done they'll drop us back off tomorrow morning."

She intended on asking him more questions, but when she opened her mouth what came out was, "I have to tell my dad.

"I'll keep the portal open," Cisco said. "Make it quick, and tell Harry we miss seeing his ugly mug around here."

"Will do," she muttered, glaring at Wally for a moment before turning around and dashing back through the portal.

There was not a single reason for Jesse to return to Earth-1. She had her friends, she had her dad, she loved her job, and dammit, she was useful.

But, wow, how her stomach had dipped when she saw Wally's face. She would go anywhere with him if he'll keep grinning at her like nothing awful had ever happened to either of them.


	2. Chapter 2

"Caitlin's going to be pretty pissed when she finds out she missed out on this," Cisco commented as he, Jesse, and Wally walked through the dim hallways to the main lab. "And Harry's going to annihilate me when he finds out I helped steal you away, Jesse."

"I could have gotten back through just fine on my own," Jesse insisted. She loosened the straps of her backpack to let it hang more casually. Wally didn't have anything with him. She assumed he had already packed.

"This was easier," Cisco said. "Barry's accidentally slipped into other dimensions before and it can be kind of a mess. It was safer for me to do my thing."

"When we get back, my dad and Harry will do their overprotective team-up thing," Wally added. "They'll probably let you off the hook and Jesse and I will get the brunt of it."

The lights were on in the main lab, and a tall man was fiddling with Cisco's computer display.

"Don't mess with my setup, Ray," Cisco warned.

"How much of this is Felicity's work?" he asked, spinning a dial that Jesse was fairly certain wasn't there a month ago.

"Only about half, give me some credit. Ray Palmer, this is Jesse Wells. We call her Jesse Quick. Jesse, this is Ray Palmer. He's a friend of S.T.A.R. labs."

Ray walked over and shook her hand enthusiastically. "Awesome! I'm glad you can tag along! Four people isn't that small of a team, but in combat F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M. really only counts as one unit."

"Are you coming with us?" Jesse asked.

"Kind of. I'm part of your transportation. Jax and Professor Stein are the ones you'll be doing this mission with. They're visiting their families here in Central City right now, but they'll be back any minute. I travel with them on a timeship called the Waverider. It's parked out back with the rest of our team."

"Heatwave isn't allowed in here anyway," Cisco declared.

"Yeah….I can see why that wouldn't be the best idea," Ray said.

One of the panels on the wall began flashed red. Cisco walked over to it and tapped on it, switching the screen to a video feed of the front door. "Is Sara blond, Ray? Nevermind, I see Thea. That must be her."

"Who are they?" Wally asked, sliding into Cisco's preferred chair.

"For real?!" Cisco yelped. Wally shrugged.

"Sara's our ship's current captain," Ray explained. "She just got back from collecting the final member of your team. We can grab them on our way out, Cisco. Thanks for all your help."

"Hey, hey, no, no," Cisco said. "Hold up. I still don't know where you all are going. What if you're late coming back? What am I supposed to tell everyone?"

Jesse turned to Wally. "I thought you got permission from Joe?"

Wally grimaced. "Yeah, about that. I may have just left a note instead. What did your dad say?"

"He wasn't home," Jesse admitted. "I left a note, too."

"This isn't a quick mission," Ray warned. "Your families will see you again tomorrow morning, but for you this trip is going to last the better part of a year."

"A year!" Jesse exclaimed.

Ray nodded. "Time travel is weird like that. Do you still want to do this?"

She glanced at Wally, who nodded empathetically.

A year? She had never been away from her father for that long. Jesse had always considered herself fairly independent for someone her age, but that didn't mean she wouldn't miss him. She thought of her offer to him a few months ago, when they thought the bridges between the Earths would be closing forever. She had encouraged him to stay behind on Earth-1 because she was convinced he would be more happy there. Back then she was willing to say goodbye without knowing when they would see each other again. What had changed?

Would she be more happy if she did this? Her life would wait for her while she was gone, which seemed almost too good to be true. This was a chance to develop her powers and come back to Central City better equipped defend her city.

Logically, she knew the smart choice to make. She was a big girl. She could go without seeing her dad for a while.

"I'm in," she declared.

"All right, then," Cisco said. He pulled her into the hug. "I'll hang around tonight in case Harry finds your note and crosses dimensions by the power of his rage alone."

Jesse smiled into his shoulder. "I appreciate that Cisco. See you in a year, I guess."

"Eight months," Ray corrected.

"Eight months isn't that bad," Wally said, rising from the chair to claim his own hug from Cisco.

"I can't wait to see your speed, man," Cisco told him. "Barry's going to freak. I'll see you in the morning?"

Wally clapped him on the back. "See you in the morning."

"It was good to catch up, Cisco," Ray said. "Sorry I can't tell you more about the mission."

"I understand. At least you follow the rules of time travel. Barry tells us pretty much everything no matter what the consequences are." He stood at attention to mock-salute the three of them. "Represent 2016 well."

Wally pulled a duffel bag out from under the table and shouldered it. "Will do."

* * *

Jesse realized two things about Sara Lance as she marched them through the S.T.A.R. labs parking lot. She was probably as friendly she seemed, but was also without a doubt someone you didn't want to mess with.

Thea was harder to pin down. Judging by how often she bit her lip, she was at least as anxious as Jesse was. Jesse eyed the midriff-baring tank top Thea was wearing and fidgeted with her backpack's straps again. There was no way she would ever be able to wear that without having the urge to tug it down every couple of seconds.

A memory came to her, unprompted, of her mother. She had been dressing Jesse for her first day of school and Jesse had wanted to look like her stuffed doll of Jessie from Toy Story 2. Her mother mother braided her hair, which had been red as a child, and tucked a thick white button down into the jeans she was wearing.

Jesse shook the memory off, blaming how quickly it had overwhelmed her on lack of sleep. She'd been ready to crash when Cisco's portal appeared.

A guy who looked to be around her age and a much older man were standing in the middle of the parking lot.

"I've got a team for you, Martin!" Sara called out. "Thea said yes, and Wally brought a friend along."

"Have any of you met Professor Stein before?" Ray asked them at a more normal volume.

"I had dinner with his wife once," Wally said. "She's nice."

"I was at the farmhouse Vandal Savage thing in Central City last year, but other than that I've not met anyone from Central City," Thea replied.

"You knew Kendra and Carter then," Sara observed. "I didn't realize that."

"'Knew' sounds a little ominous. Did something happen to them?"

"They're fine," the younger guy said, walking to meet them. "They ditched us after we finished Savage off." He reached out to shake Wally's hand. "Jefferson Jackson. You can call me Jax."

"Let's do introductions inside," Sara suggested before Wally could respond. "It's nippy out here."

Out of nowhere, a massive structure materialized. Jesse couldn't make out many details by the faint glow of the parking lot streetlamps, but it looked like it was at least the size of a large house.

"Holy crap!" Wally exclaimed.

Part of the ship opened for them, casting an eerie light onto the concrete of the parking lot.

"I feel like I'm being abducted," Thea said.

"It's been known to happen," Jax replied.

Inside the Waverider there was a large, open room that reminded Jesse vaguely of the main lab at S.T.A.R. labs.

"Take any seat," Sara told them, gesturing to uncomfortable-looking metal chairs clustered around the front of the room. "Amaya, Nathan, and Mick are around here somewhere. They're the other Legends- that's what we call ourselves. I promise that's an inside joke and that we're not on some sort of ego trip."

"Not currently, anyway," Ray added. "Wally and Jesse, it was nice to meet you. I'm going to hit the hay now. I'll see you all in the morning."

"How does morning work when you're time travelling?" Thea asked, waving to Ray as he disappeared down a hallway.

"Sleep can be a bit erratic. We spend a lot of time in the time stream," Sara said. "That's where I'll take us once you all get settled it. It's sort of a neutral zone. Gideon is the ship's artificial intelligence. She can give us information about how long it's been and between that and our natural sleep cycle we manage."

"You won't have to worry about that," Professor Stein said. "You three will only sleep here for tonight while we travel to 2056. After that we'll presumably be sticking to one time period."

"Presumably?" Jesse asked. "You don't know?"

"I'll explain this part," Sara said told Professor Stein, moving to sit in the seat at the front of the room and spinning it around to face the others. For a moment, Jesse considered sitting away from Wally, but her unease with their situation drove her towards the familiar, and she sat down in the seat next to him. He flashed a quick smile at her, which she returned.

"You've all met me already, but just to make it formal, I'm Sara Lance, the captain of this ship," Sara announced. "You've all been collected because you fit the parameters for a mission. A few months ago, our former captain, Rip Hunter, was contacted by someone from 2056. I believe you've all met Barry Allen?"

They all answered in the affirmative.

"You all can't tell anyone about the important details of this mission when you return home, but that goes doubly for him. The Barry Allen from 2056 is the one who contacted us requesting our help with this mission. He asked us to assemble a team with F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M. and any heroes we could find that were roughly in Jax's age range."

"It's good that you all know Mr. Allen," Professor Stein added. "Unfortunately, our current knowledge of this mission is limited, and we won't know much about it until we meet with his future counterpart tomorrow. We are taking it on out of faith in his judgement."

"I've never actually met him," Sara admitted. "We keep managing to miss each other. Anyway, Jax and Martin participate in the mission, and Martin will lead it. Wally, I think Ray already told you this, but the Barry from 2056 informed us that you'll be developing powers like his shortly, and he recommended you for the team."

Wally nodded. "That's why I thought of Jesse. She got hit with the same stuff I did- it's a long story- but she got her speedster powers a couple of months ago. I thought, you know, it couldn't hurt to have two of us around."

"Are you from Central City as well?" Jax asked.

"I am," Jesse confirmed. "I'm just not from the Central City on this Earth."

"Oh, wow," Sara said.

"Sorry," Thea interrupted. "What do you mean, this Earth?"

"Professor Stein will explain that in a minute, Thea," Sara told her. "It gets a little confusing. It's great that you can join us, though, Jesse. It will probably be useful for you all to have someone from another Earth around. I guess that just leaves Thea to introduce. She's a vigilante-"

"Former vigilante," Thea cut in.

"-from Star City. It's always good to have someone around without powers who can heavy hitting when things get dicey. That's my job in the Legends. Thea is more than equipped to handle it with you all."

Sara looked around the group for a moment. "You all look exhausted. I'll hand you all off to Martin so he can explain the details that we do know so far. I'm going start plotting our course to 2056. Come and get me when you're done and I'll show you all where you all can sleep tonight."

Professor Stein rose from his seat. "I'll try to make this as brief as possible without sacrificing the nuance of the physics involved."

"Sara, no," Jax said flatly. "Please don't-"

"Too late," she called over her shoulder as she exited the room. "Have fun!"

Professor Stein left with her and returned a few moments later with a rolling whiteboard almost completely covered in incomprehensible doodles. Before he could say anything, Jax grabbed him by the shoulders and steered him toward a chair.

"No," he insisted. "We're not doing this again. Let me explain it this time."


	3. Chapter 3

Thea woke the next morning to Sara shoving at her blanketed foot.

"C'mere," she whispered. "Don't wake Jesse up."

Thea glanced over at the alcove where Jesse was sleeping. The large room with no furniture and a bizarre amount of floor space Sara had offered them hadn't looked very inviting last night, but Thea was surprised at how well she had slept.

Sara motioned toward the door but Thea shook her head. "I'm in pajamas."

"It's fine," Sara encouraged. "We're just grabbing breakfast."

The small kitchen Sara led her to was the homiest part of the ship Thea had seen so far. It was the same sterile white and metallic as the rest of the rooms but the gleaming countertop almost reminded her of the Arrow cave.

"Pancakes?" Sara asked. "I'd offer you something else, but they're the only leftovers we have, and my cooking's even worse than Laurel's."

"I never learned," Thea admitted. "Sure."

They sat in companionable silence as Sara reheated a plate of pancakes and retrieved honey, butter, dishes, and silverware from a clusters of drawers above the microwave.

"Thanks," Thea said when Sara set a plate of pancakes in front of her and sat in the seat across the table with her own food.

"You're welcome," Sara said. "Now spill. What the problem?"

"I don't have any problem," Thea lied.

"You're having second thoughts. You wouldn't let me call you a vigilante last night, and you keep looking at everything in this ship like it's going to bite you."

"It's freaky. You laid time travel, other Earths, and a spaceship on me in the span of a couple hours." That, at least, was true.

"Yeah, I would have believed that a couple years ago maybe, but you already knew about time travel, we've both been dead before, and you spent the better part of last year fighting a magician," Sara said. "It's okay if you don't want to do the mission, but we have to have this conversation now. In a couple of hours you'll be on another Earth. Martin's great, but emotional talks aren't really his forte."

"They're not really your forte, either," Thea pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'm captain now. It goes with the territory."

Thea snorted. "Captain Lance."

Sara cracked a grin. "Yeah. Runs in the family. But seriously, Thea. You agreed way too quickly yesterday, and now it seems like you already have regrets."

Thea sighed. "I'm not Speedy anymore, Sara."

"You don't have to be. Time travel's great like that. No need to conceal your identity."

"I don't have problem with the Speedy identity. I don't know. It's Roy's costume and Ollie's name for me, I would feel bad about ditching it."

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's-" Thea huffed out a heavy breath. "I'm know I'm not a civilian. I don't want to be a civilian. I still train, not as hard, but when I have time, I do. It's just that there's a difference between having the skills and a costume in your closet and walking out the door every night knowing you're going to hurt someone."

"I get that," Sara said. "Everyone has to have a line in the sand. Especially us."

"Especially us," Thea acknowledged.

"This job is different," Sara told her. "I promise. Barry is different. Martin is different. Different from Oliver and different from me. Eat your pancakes. I slaved over a hot stove all morning."

Thea rolled her eyes and stabbed a pancake. "The mission isn't the problem."

"What's the problem then?"

"I'm the problem. Don't look at me like that, I'm not being self-depreciating. Did you know we used to have kidnapping insurance when I was a kid?"

"I didn't," Sara said. "That doesn't even sound like a real thing."

"It's real. Do you remember that I used to do archery when I was little?"

"I do," Sara said, laughing a bit at the memory. "Laurel and I tagged along to one of your competitions once."

"Ollie kind of upstages me now."

"He does. You'll kick his ass again one day."

"Of course. Anyway, I was snooping around my dad's office one day and I found some paperwork for kidnapping insurance taken out against me and Oliver. I asked Ollie if he knew about it, and he didn't, but he told me that when he was younger my parents taught him all these things to do if a kidnapper ever tried to take him. No one ever taught me any of that. They didn't want to scare me. Well, not knowing for so long just made me even more afraid, but instead of staying in a sport that was actually useful for self defense I quit archery and made my mom sign me up for horseback riding classes."

"The plight of the rich," Sara joked. "But what does it have to do with this?"

"League training," Thea said. "You've been through it."

"I did it twice, so I know it better than most."

"Twice?"

"It's a long story."

"Yeah, anyway," Thea continued. "When Malcolm trained me, he taught me not to run from my fear. I hate him, don't get me wrong, but I'll always owe him for teaching me how to defend myself. I get now that all of you meant well when you were keeping me in the dark, but Malcolm was the only person who respected me enough to teach me to protect myself instead of just protecting me. Except the League training kind of sucks."

"It can be rough, yeah," Sara commented.

"It can, but that's not what I mean. Malcolm made me put all the fear and pain that I was feeling and put it in a box. When I came back to Star City I let myself feel a lot of my emotions again, but I never re-learned how to be properly afraid. It was great."

"Until it wasn't?" Sara guessed.

"Until it wasn't. I took a kid hostage when we were taking down Darhk. It's why I quit the team. I looked at her and realized that I went from being a kid whose parents had kidnapping insurance to a woman who kidnaps kids."

"And that scared you?"

Thea nodded. She had started to shake at some point during the conversation. She folded her hands into her lap to keep it from being too obvious, even though she knew Sara had probably already noticed. "I'm not scared of being Speedy. I know I can defend myself, and I don't think I would really hurt someone again. It's just...all I can think about right now is what Oliver is going to say at his press conference next week. I get that I have eight months to figure out what he should announce but I'm still worried."

"It's horseback riding, isn't it," Sara asked.

"Yeah."

Sara blew away some hair that had drifted into her eyes. "If you're not scared for yourself, Thea, who are you scared for?"

"I don't know," Thea admitted. "I'm just...stuck. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm good about being Oliver's assistant, and I almost had to resign a couple of weeks ago and I just...didn't care. I didn't have any sort of back-up plan. I don't know what I would have done all day if I'd had to quit, but I didn't care."

Sara nodded and reached across the table with her knife to scoop more butter for her pancakes. "I'm the wrong person to give you advice on this. When I get stuck I have the bad habit of joining assassin organizations."

"I don't need any advice," Thea snapped. "If I wanted advice I would have paid for a therapist."

"Yeah, well, just for that I'm giving you my opinion anyway. I think that if you don't even know what's wrong with you, there's no way of making any good choices for yourself. You, my friend, need to do a little soul searching.

"Running away from everything isn't going to solve anything," Thea said, clenching her fists in her lap. "This was a mistake. I should go home and face this head on."

"You won't," Sara said knowingly. "You'll go back and start writing Ollie's speech. You're going to ride that horse off into the sunset without even knowing what you're getting away from."

"You're biased," Thea pointed out.

"Extremely, but this is still good advice. Jax is great. Wally and Jesse seem fine. Martin's a pain in the ass, but you're used to that. An elderly Barry Allen is going to show you a whole new world, and you can explore it with a couple of genetic freaks and two guys that explode into a nuclear fire monster. It'll be a blast, Thea. You're twenty-one. Go have fun."

Thea laid her head on the table so she could blink back a sudden rush of tears without Sara seeing. "You can't tell me what to do," she muttered.

"Yes, I can. I'm the captain, and this is tough love. Cook doesn't clean, so you're in charge of the dishes. I'm going to go wake everyone else up."

Sara patted Thea on the shoulder as she walked past, and Thea bit back a sob, not even sure what she was crying about.

"2056 is calling, Speedy," Sara declared, her voice fading as she entered the hall. "You're about to experience the wonders of time travel."

* * *

 **Any comments are appreciated. Thank you!**


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